Embracing Differences v. Judging

Something dawned on me a few weeks ago, when GT said something to me that made no sense.. it was something that HE chose, but accused me of doing. Something I simply would not do (or even think of) I tell my family the truth. They don't tell me the truth - say I'll get mad. But truly, THEY get mad at my feelings. THEY don't accept my feelings.. they minimize and act defensive when I'm just saying my feelings, the fact of what's occurred, etc., Projection, I suppose. THEY judge me and they think I'm judging them.. but if only they all realized that I don't tell them all of the negative things I think about them.. I accept them for who they are and find a new way to deal with my feelings- while they criticize me and expect me to change to make them happy. My reactions are rarely 'angry' as they anticipate, but usually when we get into discussion about things, I'm told that they did a certain thing whatever way (ie, leaving me out, etc) because they just know I'll get mad. I usually sit there confused because I'm not mad.. but I feel defensive when they say I am. I've discovered that those who think that I judge them are actually the people who judge me. Or so it seems. And my family simply doesn't realize that the ONLY thing that has changed my mind about them is the way they treat me. Not the choices they've made. GT included. Basically, I accept people for who they are, warts and all, and there isn't much that can make me turn away from most people.. except when they treat me like crap. Judge me. I've been thinking about this a lot lately.. I actually find the whole concept of those who judge, feeling judged, quite amusing... except when it's my family and I can't seem to work it out.. or be a doormat.